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Opinion

This page offers articles of a humorous nature, opinion pieces, social and political commentaries, and even rants. If you’re down for a laugh or hear a side this is the page to go to.

Students Fondly Remember Nudity in Commons

Written by Elizabeth Janes Jan. 31, 2018 is a day that will live on in Roanoke College History. On Wednesday night around 7:30 p.m., student...

Seeing Illness As An Attribute

Written by Isaac Davis It’s that time of the year. Palms are clammy, health services are quarantining and demand for soup and Sudafed has never...

My Favorite Fashion Blogger is Tanking My Country

Written by Leilani Doneux When Chiara Ferragni announced to the world that she and her fiancé, Italian rapper Fedez, were planning to deliver their child in...

Enthusiastic Pledge Defaces Fintel

Written Joe Krzyston Consumed with discernable purpose for the first time in his entire life, one freshman is on a mission to carve the letters...

Black History Month: Third Time’s The Charm

Written by Shamira James Though it only lasts for one day, people associate the entire month of February with Valentine’s Day. While I love walking...

Alone in the Laundry: Why We’re Eating Soap

Written by Joe Krzyston According to the Washington Post, the first two weeks of 2018 saw thirty-seven teenagers call poison control because they intentionally consumed...

California Dreaming in a Southern State of Mind

Written by Leilani Doneux To admit that I was afraid, I would also have to admit that when I committed to Roanoke College, at a...

Stakes Not High Enough in Intro Fiction Story

Written by Joe Krzyston The uneasiness was palpable in a Miller Hall classroom today as Bailey Mann’s short story was analyzed and picked apart for...

New Year Evolutions

Written by Isaac Davis 2018 is the year I’m: losing weight, learning French, working harder, getting better, running faster, saving this, sorting that, starting a...

Editor Fired for Gross Incompetance

Written by Joe Krzyston Effective next issue, David Hall, longtime editor of the Roanoke College Brackety-Ack, will be fired from the paper for reasons related...

Let’s Say Something

  Written by Emma Grosskopf On a campus as small as ours, rumors spread like the plague, and it’s hard to gauge their source or their...

Avoid Hallmate Hookups

Written by Emma Grosskopf When you put a bunch of 20-something year olds together on a small campus, you’re going to have some tension. Sexual...

Horan Concert Worth the Rainy Wait

Written by Jordan Hanson When my roommate asked me if I wanted to go to a Niall Horan concert with her, I had no idea...

RC Rock Actually Just Golf Ball Covered in Paint

Joe Krzyston Section Editor One night shortly before break, Dear old Roanoke’s Underground Network for Knowledge and Sedition (DRUNKS, for short) tore a sheet of paint...

Sorority Absolved of Responsibility via Cornhole

Joe Krzyston Section Editor The young women of one of Roanoke College’s sororities (and because these organizations are preposterously well lawyered, that’s as specific as I’m...

The Big Reveal

Joe Krzyston Section Editor Despite some unseasonably warm weather earlier this month, Roanoke College is now, without a doubt, in the thick of autumn. The air is...

I’m Proud to Welcome Sisters into The Only Great Fraternity I...

David Hall Editor-in-Chief Over the break, I enjoyed a beer with an old friend. I often like to see people from high school, catch up, trade...

Editorial: Shrubbery as an Act of Rebellion

Article by Joe Krzyston For a brief, uncharacteristic moment, I’d like to give voice to a belief that I do not hold myself. I’d like...

The Fishwick Column

Article by Ben Vester I often find myself paralyzed in intellectual discussion, unable to enhance the conversation with an insightful comment or a reasonable critique....