Written by Zuba Mutesi
I’ve been thinking about the concept of “you get what you give.” I understand that life is like a cycle of giving and taking but somehow along the way, we must also remember that we have legacies to leave behind and impact to make. But to be quite fair, this concept of “you get what you give” was not manifesting itself in the energy that I gave and received from the people I gave it to.
If you know me well, I love to say “E for Energy” and energy can have multiple connotations but I’m talking about the energy in the relationships we have in our lives; the vibes basically. I am a firm believer in the fact that when I do something for my loved ones, I don’t count it because it’s not something I am doing by force but out of love and care. In addition to this, I do my best to carry this same energy forward in the good times and the harsher times in life. This mentality is known to many but not upheld by many.
The past few weeks have been difficult for me and my ability to connect with my people. During this slump, I was more or less disconnected from myself and in turn I felt disconnected from the people around me. In the midst of this, it became normalfor me to feel lonely in midst of being surrounded by people. I kept pushing myself to venture into newer interactions and stepping out of my comfort zone, but this was not feeling the void I felt starting to develop.
One night I was on FaceTime with one of my closest friends/sister (shoutout to Umwali 💙), I had an “Aha!” moment that gave me a sense of clarity. The void was not developing because of a lack of interaction but the lack of the energy in the interactions from the people that I considered to be part of my tribe.
Now, I understand that everyone has their life and we never truly know the battles that people are facing but we must remember that humans are not like loyalty programs.
Your relationships are not places to stack up good points and when you’re tired you can drop the ball, or come back later and reap the benefits. Relationships require effort, they require ENERGY! Energy and effort are two free commodities and sometimes I feel people overthink what it looks like, when really it’s the simplest of things that can show that are putting in effort. A simple text, call, a meme, something to indicate that you’ll be there in the highs, the lows and the plateaus.
Here’s what I leave with you: look at the people in your life that you give energy too, do you feel as valued?
If you have the second guess the energy someone is giving you, reflect on that.
Energy and effort are free commodities.