This page offers articles of a humorous nature, opinion pieces, social and political commentaries, and even rants. If you’re down for a laugh or hear a side this is the page to go to.
Written by Elizabeth Janes SALEM – The family of mallards that has recently taken up residence in the stream cutting through the north side of campus was awarded tenure last week for “Outstanding Services to the School”. The family, consisting of two males and a female, have become a Roanoke College Institution in the few…
Written by Joseph Krzyston As the country’s eyes turned to the high schoolers leading national protests this week, support has been widespread for the students regardless of political orientation. Meanwhile, a small but growing cadre of recent high school graduates is first and foremost baffled as to how any of these students got their acts…
Written by Joseph Krzyston In news that might not shock any consummate observers of the back quad, three cold, wet brothers of the Sigma Chi fraternity were plucked from the icy waters of a dunk tank this week after a springtime charity event was made troublesome by the cold, windy conditions. “Yeah, we definitely…
Written by Isaac Davis Elon Musk’s sleek, electric Tesla Model 3 is a huge step toward a cleaner transport industry. However, priced at $35,000, is this really an “affordable” option for everyone looking to purchase a new vehicle? (Cohen 2017). In his latest project architect and environmentalist Stefano Boeri looks to comElon Musk’s sleek, electric…
Written by Shamira James Hello everyone, or those left. It’s Day Four of the post – apocalyptic world of the out-of-order Commons dishwasher. Students have gone mad on campus, causing nothing but mayhem and violence, so here’s an update. The first day was fine, very little hysteria broke out, and why would it? We had…
Written by Joseph Krzyston Thursday, Joe Krzyston, editor of the humor/opinion page, hopped on a plane to see his friend in Wisconsin: there was only one problem. “That massive buffoon totally forgot we had a newspaper to lay-out!” said editor in-chief Emma Grosskopf. “He gets paid for this and everything, and he totally just…
Written by Shamira James There’s nothing like the thrill of a snow day. Waking up to the campus-closed email, seeing how many people posted about the snow on Snapchat before even rapidly flipping through their stories and smell of the herds of Greek life people reek of bonfires and Natural Light. All of these things…
Written by Leilani Doneux I think it was the sideburns, or maybe an accented, homoerotic Sacha Baron Cohen telling Will Ferrell that he tasted of America. Either way, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is the intrusive thought that I have been having since I first stepped foot in a Sheetz. Ricky Bobby is…
Written by Isaac Davis Millions wait impatiently for the long Easter weekend and the beginning of April. Groups of various faiths, ethnicities and backgrounds gather with families and engage in an equally diverse array of Easter traditions – chocolate eggs are the tip of the iceberg! Moving first to Western Europe, the French annually celebrate…
Written by Joseph Krzyston A student determined to plagiarize a paper was deterred definitively through clever tactical deployment of a computer background. The potential offended, a sophomore, was way behind schedule, and figured he’d buy himself a couple more hours by lifting paragraphs of text from another source. The administration, however, had other ideas. “It…