This page offers articles of a humorous nature, opinion pieces, social and political commentaries, and even rants. If you’re down for a laugh or hear a side this is the page to go to.
Written by Joe Krzyston In a short-lived burst of back-to-school optimism, a Roanoke College student allowed himself to think, for one fleeting moment, that this might really be his year. The student, a senior, agreed to be interviewed confidentially, out of fear of embarrassment. “Look,” the student said, “I know it was dumb to think….
Written by Aeryn McMurtry Over the summer, Roanoke College made a few changes to some of its public buildings. The Colket Center got new TVs, Allegheny Hall was renamed Beamer Hall after former RC professor Billie Jean Beamer who retired in 1997, and new “All Gender” signs appeared on bathrooms campus-wide. As someone who is…
Written by Joe Krzyston After a multi-year assessment of Elizabeth Campus by the Environmental Protection Agency, the storied Roanoke College satellite has been placed on the federal Superfund list, fast-tracked for immediate cleanup due to pollution that is being described by officials as “unprecedented” and “profoundly dangerous.” “We’ve seen chemical dumps, old factory sites, storage…
Written by Joseph Krzyston The RC community was in awe this week of a particularly brave junior, probably a business major, who enthralled the campus with a stunning display of virility by walking around in shorts on a forty-five degree day. “We’re all just so impressed,” said a sophomore. “I’m currently bundled up because it’s…
Written by Shamira James Oh how the times change! Last semester, I wrote a piece for the Entertainment Page talking about the myths and assumptions people have about virgins, especially those who are in college. I wrote that just knowing I wouldn’t move into the inner-city of Pound Town anytime soon, let alone this school…
Written by Leilani Doneux Is a biscuit by any other name as bitchin’? The truth is, probably, but there’s something about walking into a biscuit chain with plaid curtains and the warm smell of regrettable decisions that has the power to both humble and heal. This is the effect that Tudor’s Biscuit World has from…
Written by Joseph Krzyston As the class of 2018 prepares to walk across the stage, one question is on the mind of a number of the soon-to-be grads. Though few have been asking it, the question is surprisingly widespread, expressed mostly through nervous chuckles and averted glances. Still, a brave few are asking it aloud….
Written by Isaac Davis I hope we have all had an encounter with the rather unassuming grey rectangle and blue lettering that is Goodwill. However, like many things in life, observation is simply not enough, exploration is a necessity. Pulling open smeared glass doors, your journey begins. Much like a geode, the grey, dusty Goodwill…
Written by Joseph Krzyston According from sources close to him, embattled section editor Joe Krzyston is looking forward to the summer. The Brackety-Ack contacted him to confirm. “Look,” said the devilishly handsome editor, “deadlines are clearly not my favorite thing, and I’m looking forward to a season without them. I’m more interested in doing something,…
Written by David Hall I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve done a lot here at Roanoke and Emma wants me to write one final piece. So here it is. I could try and tell you lots of things, but you probably wouldn’t incorporate it into your life so here’s a shot at something small. Stop…