Opinion

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This page offers articles of a humorous nature, opinion pieces, social and political commentaries, and even rants. If you're down for a laugh or hear a side this is the page to go to.

All Gender Bathrooms Debut On Campus

Written by Aeryn McMurtry Over the summer, Roanoke College made a few changes to some of its public buildings. The Colket Center got new TVs,...

Elizabeth Campus Exposed: Site to be Condemned After Investigation By the EPA

Written by Joe Krzyston After a multi-year assessment of Elizabeth Campus by the Environmental Protection Agency, the storied Roanoke College satellite has been placed on...

Temporarily Optimistic Student Comes Back to Reality

Written by Joe Krzyston In a short-lived burst of back-to-school optimism, a Roanoke College student allowed himself to think, for one fleeting moment, that this...

Anti-Capitalist Tirade Written at $2000 MacBook Pro

Written by Joe Krzyston A stirring message to the proletariat was written, revised, and broadcast to a largely indifferent audience today, all from the backlit...

Roanoke College Students Struggle to Navigate Persnickety Fall Weather

Written by Aeryn McMurtry Due to the recent but brief hurricane from the East Coast and the ever present changing climate, some students have found...

Reluctant Vegetarian Can’t Handle the Overwhelming Ads

Written by Brice Hall We at the Brackety-Ack talked to a recent convert to vegetarianism. The young citizen met us in Fintel Library’s most secluded...

I Miss Sean from Cups: Senior Reflection on Times and Friends Passed

Written by Joseph Krzyston I have only been to the new coffee shop in the library once. These days, I hardly go to the library...

Bewildered Upperclassmen Fail to Solve Yearly Conundrum

Written by Joseph Krzyston In upper-level courses across campus, in nearly every discipline, there’s one question on the lips of every upperclassman. It defies boundaries...

RC Student Shocks Peers with Statements about ‘Society’ and ‘The Media’

Written by Joseph Krzyston A Roanoke College sophomore is at the center of a firestorm tonight. The reason? A provocative statement, made in class, about...

Love Among the Ruins

Written by Zoe Manoukian Relationship turmoil is running rampant. Sophomores have abandoned, nay, liberated themselves from their freshman year relationships. Freshmen have liberated themselves from,...

“This Again?” Thinks Quiet Plurality as Greek Life Emerges

Written by Joseph Krzyston It is that time of year again. People who couldn’t find Greece on a map slap the letters of its alphabet...

Frat Brother Loves Litter Critter!

Written by Zoe Manoukian Family Weekend often invokes fond memories among Roanoke College students. Sophomore and Pi Kappa Phi president of the Alpha Alpha class William...

Fortnite: America’s Next Top Leading Cause for Divorce

Written by Kaelyn Spickler Has your boo left you on delivered for multiple hours at a time? Has he been trapped in his room for...

After Separate Checks, Area Man Ponders Ambiguous Date

Written by Joseph Krzyston What began as a jovial dinner ended in confusion this week for an area man, who, upon presentation of the check,...

Ashes Ashes, We All Fall Down: Autumnal Norms Draw Ire

Written by Zoe Manoukian Saturday, September 22 marked the Autumnal Equinox. I hate to sound contrarian on the cherished matter, but more than that, I hate...

You Can’t Cancel Nature!

Written by Shamira James My favorite part of logging onto Twitter recently has been seeing videos of Brother Nature. His happy voice and warm hearted...

KavaNO

Written by Zoe Manoukian More hearts dropped than can be counted when Kavanaugh was appointed supreme court justice, and more hearts than I want to...

Democracy Dies in The Dark

Written by Lorin Brice Hall The murder of Jamal Khashoggi is a moral and ethical litmus test for the leaders of our nation,and for leaders across...

Nature is Facing a Cancellation Crisis

Written by Zoe Manoukian Most of us have known for a while now that our climate is not heading in the best direction. Now more...

Monterey and Modern Monsters

Written by Joseph Carrick The weekly horrors of slowly but steadily dipping GPAs might be enough of a scare for some, but this Halloween a...