To preface, this article is not meant as an attack on anyone and does not refer to a particular event. Instead, this is a reflection of my own experiences and observations.
Names have power as a major part of our identity, and yet are chosen for us at birth by our parents. As we get older, we tend to have a semblance of a choice in how we are addressed, but it can be a slow process. There are many places where people may choose to use a different name than their given name.
People who simply do not like their name may choose to change it or go by a middle name. Others may choose to shorten their name to a nickname if they do not like their given name, or if they feel it is too long. This is perhaps the most common form of name changes. How many Kathryn’s go by Katie or Kate, or William’s go by Will or Bill? These are two prevalent examples, but certainly not the only ones.
Names are particularly important in the queer community. Those whose gender identity falls beyond the binary tend to choose new names to fit their new identity. These names can be based on their original name, or completely different depending on the person. Some names are specifically related to a specific gender identity, and others are more fluid, but there is intention behind picking these names.
Others get new names when they go through a religious ritual or change, such as weddings, bat mitzvahs, confirmations, and more. This can be either an additional name that they are known by or one only for within religious contexts.
Whatever the situation, just as pronouns are important, it is important to use the correct name for people. If someone asks you to respect the use of a nickname or a different name, use it. The college launched the RC Name initiative to help facilitate the use of preferred names, and I personally think that it has been a success as a way for students to express the desire to go by a certain name without having to constantly correct people who are not seeing the correct name in the system.
If we are willing to accept nicknames based on the given names, why should chosen names be any different?
Kathryn McElfresh
Staff Reporter
