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The Five Love Languages

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by Marisa Seager

Love languages are the ways in which we express affection to our significant other on a regular basis. Because love can often get lost in translation, it is important to know and understand the different love languages being spoken in your relationship.

The first language, words of affirmation, is the value of verbal acknowledgements. This could mean anything from saying “I love you” pretty frequently to digital communication like texting and engagement on social media. For some, these written and spoken shows of affection are what matter most. Even if this is not the love language that resonates most with your partner, you can never go wrong with compliments, words of appreciation, or encouragement. 

The second language, quality time, is feeling the most loved when your partner prioritizes spending time with you. This means more than just “hanging out,” but also eye contact, active listening, and the feeling of a full presence when together. A good reminder here is to try not to let things like television and cell phones interfere with your time together. Just enjoy it! 

The third language, acts of service, is going out of your way for your partner as a way to make their day or life a bit easier. This could be making them coffee in the morning or running an errand for them because you know that they have had a busy day. If you’ve ever heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words,” then you know all about this language already.

The fourth language, gifts, is exactly what it sounds like. However, it’s not about the monetary value of the gift being given, but the thought behind it. When it comes to Valentine’s Day or any other day in your relationship, be careful when choosing an item that will reflect them and not you. What seems like just a gift, could be a lot more than you think. 

The fifth language, physical touch, is feeling loved when receiving physical signs of affection. This valuable emotional connector goes all the way back to our childhood, as some people only feel love through these sorts of acts. Just like the first language, words of affirmation, physical touch can go a long way regardless of your partner’s love language. We could all use a hug or our hand to be held sometimes. 

By better understanding the love language of you and your partner, you will both have a better insight into how to make each other feel truly loved, understood, and appreciated.