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Dear Kaelyn…

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Dear Kaelyn,

My roommate and I were getting along great! We are sophomores here and were roommates last year. Recently, my roommate started seeing someone, and now the two of them are constantly in the room, and I’ve even been getting kicked out numerous times now. I’m not really sure what to do, but I do know that it is my room too.

-I want my room back ‘22

You are completely right- it is your room too. You are both paying the same amount of money for the room, so therefore you should have equal rights to the room. Obviously, you may not want to refuse to leave the room, but there are a few steps you can take. 

First, think back to when you all signed your roommate agreements. What did the two of you decide as far as if guests are allowed/if it’s okay to kick the other person out? If you said it wasn’t okay, then talk to your RA about additional steps to take. If you did say it was okay to be kicked out or have guests in the room, then there are some steps you can take to try to make things equal. 

Start up a conversation with your roommate, and ask you RA to join if you feel like that’s needed, and acknowledge that you have been asked to leave. From there, suggest that each of you gets the room to yourself for a certain amount of time a week. You can do whatever you want with that time, and you both are guaranteed some alone time to do whatever you want.

If you don’t care about having alone time for yourself, then let your roommate know your class, clubs, and work schedules that way she can plan for her alone time when you aren’t there. I’m sure she can find some time when you don’t plan on being in the room anyways. 

Lastly, remind your roommate that it is your room too and that even though you value the friendship and are happy for him or her to be in this new relationship, you deserve to be in the room just as much as she does. Keep your tone calm and non-accusing that way the conversation doesn’t escalate into a fight. 

Hopefully this helps! If not, reach out to your RA who has been trained to handle situations like these.

XO