Written by Zach “I’m Not Certified” Dalton
I want to preface this article by saying this: I am not a certified relationship “guru” or “expert;” I have just had the same partner for almost three years with no sign of it changing. This is not a definitive way to get into a relationship. It is merely a suggestion on how to make sure you and your partner have a healthy and happy one.
Trust. This is, by far, the most important aspect in a relationship. You cannot have a healthy one without it. Trust is a hard thing to earn, but an easy thing to lose, so it is imperative that you and your partner work to keep a strong sense of trust.
Things in Common. The saying “opposites attract” is a proven scientific fact, but the addition “pairs stick together” is just as viable. While it is important for you and your partner to have interests, habits, or routines that differ, it does help in the long run to have things in common. This is especially important when you first start getting to know each other because it helps find a level ground where you can both start from.
Communication. This one seems like it should go without saying, but believe me communication is key. Talk with your partner whenever you can and keep them up to date on what you are doing. Even something as small as a short phone call when you are walking somewhere can make their day. Friendly reminder- communication goes both ways, so be sure to listen to your partner when they are talking.
Boundaries. These are important at the beginning because it helps make sure everyone is on the same page. I am not saying you must go on the first day and immediately lay out all the boundaries, but if you can tell things are starting to get serious it does help to establish them.
Have the Hard Conversations. This one definitely is the toughest one to do, but if you are able to have a hard conversation with your partner it shows just how stable your relationship is. You do not have to agree, but you should be able to finish the conversation feeling as though you were both seen and heard.
Love. I know this one sounds corny, but make sure there is some love in your relationship. You do not have to be saying “I love you,” or “you’re the love of my life” to your partner, but make sure there are things you do love about them or love doing with them (not just physical). Of course, the first thing you need to do is learn to love yourself before you love anyone else.
It would be very unlike me to sit here and write a whole article without saying a special thank you to my partner for helping me discover all of these through our own relationship, so Kaillee Philleo.