Written by Kaelyn Spickler
Spring Break seems like weeks ago, but only one week ago we were all still basking in the sunshine, hiking scenic trails, gliding down a snowy mountain, or taking a nap all snuggled under the blankets. The movies always add hype to the craziness that comes with Spring Break, and until it is experienced first-hand, the craziness may seem like something only Hollywood can create; however, some Roanoke College students had themselves a movie-esque Spring Break and are here to let the rest of us live through them!
“We all had so much fun on the first night, but because it was such a fun night, we had to keep that momentum up throughout the week which meant the second night was even more fun! I kissed my British boy from the first night goodbye and danced the night away with a 6’2 basketball player. We locked lips, and when we parted, I saw that all of my friends were kissing a boy too!”
-Non-Germaphobe, Germaphobe
“Me and my girls decided to go on a trip over spring break. Despite our long drive, we decided to rally and go out to an 18 and up night club. I was having the time of my life until a 40 year-old woman got close enough to touch me and proceed to try and convince me to have a threesome.”
-Scarred From Night Clubs…
“I downloaded a Tinder account and cat fished the girls in the area we were staying at. I decided to make a bet with one of the other guys that I could get a girl’s number first, and if I did then he had to funnel twice.”
-Never Thought Tinder Would Be Fun
“It was the second night of break, and this very muscular Canadian hockey player asked me to dance. We danced and kissed and then he asked to get a drink, so we went all the way to his hotel where he did push-ups with me on his back. We came back to the club and within 10 minutes he asked if I was ready to head out AGAIN. I agreed but let him know I was seeing someone, yet he still got naked when we entered his hotel room, so I left.”
-Dirty Spring Break Gal
“Let’s just say, I fell in love. I downloaded Tinder when we arrived at our destination, matched with all of the cute boys to figure out where the hot hangout spots were, and luckily ran into a tall blonde. He was easily the most fun dancer there, and we had so much fun. I gave him a lucky coin when I saw him at the beach the next day!”
-Luck of the Irish
“Two beautiful Brazilian men sat before me and my companion, conversation commenced, several bottles of wine were consumed (legally of course), and the night began. While conversing with one of the Brazilian men, my friend started making out with the other right in front of us, so Rico Suave and I (not actual name) made our way to the balcony. While things progressed with Rico Suave, my friend decided to come out of the bedroom and stare into my soul. Terrified, poor Rico Suave scrambled to find a pillow to cover his lap. She went back into the bedroom, and Rico Suave and I continued to “talk” on the couch. When I watched them disappear, I thought to myself as Donna from Mamma Mia once said, ‘What a night.’”
– Boa Noite, Rico Suave
It’s pretty safe to say that spring break can be a crazy time. If your spring break was on the mild side, good for you. You are probably much healthier than these students, and you were able to actually relax, catch up on sleep, and maybe even catch up on some schoolwork too- which is always good. If your spring break was on the wild side, please be safe and maybe learn from past mistakes.
