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Oh, You Think THIS Is Cold?

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Written by Caisi Calandra

Hello, and welcome back to The Most Useless Clothes to Wear During the Winter. It’s that time of the year when those oh-so-lovely shorts come out to play, even in twenty-degree weather. In the interest of getting to the bottom of some things, interviews were conducted all over campus to understand why shorts are worn in such cold weather.

One tried and true Bostonian grabbed a hold of the microphone and said, in a thick Italian accent, “Hey! These are some damn good shorts. You’d be lucky to wear shorts like these.” In response to being asked if he was cold, he simply shrugged and said, “It’s a sacrifice I have to take.”

What the sacrifice was for still remains a mystery.

In the interest of getting a diverse opinion on winter fashion, our next interviews were conducted with two sophomores from Florida. “I’ve never been so cold,” the blonde one said. In response to being told it was only fifty degrees, she readjusted her three coats and shivered. “This is horrible weather. The coldest.”

This soon sparked an argument. A passerby jumped into the interview, a junior from New Hampshire. “Oh, you think this is cold?” He asked. “Try walking to school when it’s twenty degrees out. And there’s wind chill.” This debate about who had it worse seemed to trigger a chain reaction because students from all over were soon crowding our interviewers.

Tensions came to a head when a senior from Maine shouted, “Oh, yeah?! I walked to school when it was below zero!” Some from Colorado argued that their altitude made the cold worse.

A lone student from Canada wandered by in the fifty-degree weather, wearing only a tank top and shorts. She glanced at the argument, realized what it was about, and continued on her way. Amateurs.