Written by Vanessa Mutesi
Cut-off culture. Ghosting. Have you ever caught yourself saying that you were going to cut someone off? I recently stopped myself and started thinking about what I gained from cutting someone off. Cut-off has become prominent in my generation’s culture. Often times people get offended, and immediately settle for cutting someone off. When I caught myself doing this, I immediately thought about how childish that is. Granted that there are situations where you cut off someone for peace of mind, but sometimes it is simply because we do not want to confront the issues at hand.
I had a falling out with a friend of mine over an argument that started with an amicable debate. However, things went left and the last straw was when he said some disrespectful things to me. Instead of addressing the issue, I was ready to cut him off. I ran to the easiest solution which was to block him out. After cooling down and processing everything, I realized that I had done a disservice to myself and to him. It was a disservice to me because I was giving him the power to belittle me with his words, and essentially make it look like disrespecting me was easy to get away with. I did a disservice to him because I was taking an opportunity to better himself away from him. It was a lose-lose situation. Both of us would walk away with ill feelings towards each other.
When we choose to cut people off, we are taking the easy route, and allowing ourselves to harbor negativity within us. Cutting someone off seems easy in the moment because you are dropping the issue right there and then, but you forget that you walk away with a certain weight on your shoulders. When I argued with my friend, I wanted to run away from the issue and just shut the whole thing down. Shut the argument down and shut the friendship down. What I didn’t realize was that I was also going to lose a friend because I didn’t want to confront the issue and attempt to resolve the issue. Had I chosen to resolve the issue then the ill feelings would most likely vanish because we would both be able to say our piece.
Friends, let us not be quick to play ourselves out of good relationships. Before you start ghosting people, take the time to look at what can change within your relationship.
