Written by Chamberlain “Zach Dalton” Zulauf
Let me start by saying this: that title is bogus. This is a continuation of my series of crusades against holidays. You just got pranked in a newspaper. Take a moment and let that sink in.
This issue I will be talking about a holiday that I feel has been wasted recently, April Fools’ Day. This holiday was a day all about playing pranks on your buds to brighten their day. When did we stop celebrating it? We should be celebrating it on a larger scale as a nation. In a time where the bad and sad tend to take focus over happier times, April 1st could act as a great break from dark times. People have built up steam after being in this pandemic for a year, so pranks would help alleviate that. I mean harmless pranks. Not like that Spongebob episode where Squidward essentially kills him.
This article is out of character from my normal ramblings about how holidays should change to be more relevant. That being said, I mean this when I say it: there is nothing wrong with April Fools’ Day. The holiday is all about comedy and laughter. It is time to give the day the attention it deserves. Start planning now. Come up with some great pranks and get your friends. Who knows, if you play your cards right you could be the next big TikTok sensation…or whatever kids are into nowadays.
I will leave you all with a personal favorite joke of mine. There are two whales at a bar. The first whale turns to the other and says “EUHHHUUUUHHEEHHHHHEHHUHHHUUUEEHHH.” The second whale sighs and says, “go home, Steve. You’re drunk.”