Written by Zachary Dalton
This coming holiday is considered to be one of the most family-oriented events of the year. It is a day to be thankful for all you’ve been given, and who deserve the thanks more than the people who have been with you since birth: your family. This is a nice sentiment in theory until you end up going to a Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family…and I mean the whole family. For those of you with small, close families, I envy you because you all know each other well enough to have big talks about a lot of relatable topics. For those who have large, stranger families you’ll relate to this more as I present: Small Talk During Thanksgiving and How to Avoid It.
The first topic that is sure to come up when you start talking to your great aunt who you’ve reintroduced yourself to three times is “How’s school?” This is a constant due to the nature of your age, and current situation. Sure you’re a junior and you’ve told her multiple times that school is going well, you’re active in the campus community and your grades are at an all-time high (this may not be factual). After a while this question becomes stale, so the best way to avoid it is to strike up a conversation first and ask an odd question like “What do you think about the gold standard being dissolved and should we go back on it?” It sums up how well-educated you’ve become, and Great Aunt Sharon is sure to steer clear of you for a time after.
Another topic of discussion your extended family will feel the need to bring up is your current relationship status. Thankfully this Thanksgiving I’ll have my girlfriend, Kaillee Philleo, to give living, breathing proof that I’m not making it up, Uncle Terry. There’s someone for everyone according to your dear family, so you’re definitely out there searching for them. This may or may not be true, but either way, it is always annoying when you have to answer the question over and over. The best way to avoid this question is to steer the conversation about their own relationships.
One more topic that is bound to come up, and it is the worst one: your future. It seems as you get older people expect you to have everything figured out. You’re bound to get questions like: “What’re your plans after college?” or “Have you found any jobs?” or even “Are you going to be a productive member of society, Zachary, or just play video games all day?” An easy way to avoid this question is to bring up the family member’s past because they love talking about their past.
Of course, there is one definitive way to avoid all these topics and questions at Thanksgiving. Avoid your family like the plague and go join the other eager beaver shoppers outside of a Best Buy and await the true holiday: Black Friday. Happy Thanksgiving!!
