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Your Fave Gossip Columnist

Written by Kaelyn Spickler

Hello Roanoke College, 

Your Editor-In-Chief here, and I have news for you that I never thought I’d be reporting: your fave girl-next-door AKA Roanoke College’s biggest flirt, Kate, is officially boring. She had us thrown for a loop as our sources say she doesn’t come back to her dorm until after midnight, but, believe it or not, all she’s doing is binging Netflix with her besties or doing homework in the common room. What could be the cause of this sudden lack of excitement in Kate’s life?

Turns out the girl is just busy. It’s a busy time of the semester for everyone with midterms rolling around, not to mention the fact that she’s involved with anything and everything. She has classes and meetings to attend, shifts at work to show up for, practice to sweat at, and a ton of emails to send. Good for her to take some time and do things she is happy doing, even if that means simply watching Netflix and doing homework. 

We are doubtful she really is too busy for any kind of excitement as a couple of eye witnesses have seen some potentially exciting behavior, but when we tried to get the tea from her bestie Kendra, she knew of nothing. 

Kendra’s life seems to be the exact opposite as Kate’s right now, for all she could talk about was how spicy her life is. We’re happy for her that she has made it out of her drought, and we can tell she’s happy because she is glowing! If we know Kate, then it won’t be long before she is out of her little drought too. In fact, a few rain clouds might be brewing that we will be keeping our eyes on.

Who knows? Maybe Kendra is just out of the loop… could that be? Is there some secret excitement in Kate’s life? She’s not that sneaky, especially not with eyes like mine, but only time will tell. 

You know you love me,

Xoxo