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The Swipe Out: Go and Shake It Up, What You Gotta Lose? A Hot Take on Commons Consistency


Written by Shamira James

We all have favorite Commons meals, right?  Like those days where if we for some reason don’t make it, we’ll be salty until the next time the blessed day comes back around. Veggie Lo Mein makes my heart Milly Rock, any pasta dish makes me wanna cry and thank the Italians personally, the holiday meal (while it will never compare to the way Mama James throws down) is truly a blessing I can’t help but skip around while I get my two or three plates (and yes one of them is just cranberry sauce).  However what comes up must come down, there have been days where I felt the lowest of low and not because I missed the some good grub but simply because, THERE WASN’T ANYTHING TO EAT!

Yes, it’s happened on a few occasions where I didn’t check the menu before swiping in, got all the way to my back table (either one of the two that are near the dish pit, I know you all know) and when I got up to the hot lines, there wasn’t a single thing that made me want to grab a teal plate and dig in.

Most Sunday dinners don’t excite me in the slightest way. I judge anyone who is legitimately excited for fish tacos and if you don’t already hate me here’s another zinger – I HATE GENERAL’S CHICKEN! I’m sorry that I’m this way, I promise I’m not a picky eater (I didn’t get this gut by hating food), but good grief there have been weeks when I’ve hated everything – lunch and dinner – and I could’ve honestly cried. And the worst part is that I’ve already used a swipe. The days of 19 meals are far behind me so when push comes to shove, the pushed have to settle for pizza and ranch.

I’m not going to complain about this and beg them to cater to me (although if they had a Shamia week where they only made my favorite foods we’d be past cloud nine) and I’m not going to ask them to add more options to the menu, I guess what I really want…is…for them…to…STOP MAKING GENERAL’S CHICKEN FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST.