{"id":4585,"date":"2019-09-06T12:00:48","date_gmt":"2019-09-06T16:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.pages.roanoke.edu\/?p=4585"},"modified":"2019-09-21T01:49:41","modified_gmt":"2019-09-21T01:49:41","slug":"freshman-class-deals-with-disappointment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/?p=4585","title":{"rendered":"Freshman Class Deals with Disappointment"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Zach Dalton<\/em><\/p>\n

As the school year starts up Roanoke College welcomed in one of its largest freshman class with even larger expectations about things like class time, sports, professors, elevators and many more. After rigorous polling throughout Commons only two things can be confirmed: First, the freshmen class had high expectations for certain things before coming to Roanoke. Second, their expectations quite obscure.<\/span><\/p>\n

One freshman eagerly stood in front of the Donald Kerr Stadium along with two others ten minutes before the Men\u2019s Soccer try-outs were held. When the time came for the freshmen to take the field, they were shocked to see they were the only three to come out. Turns out the campus only truly cares about European sports if Homestead Creamery brings a truck out.<\/span><\/p>\n

In another conversation a freshman complained about elevator speeds. Turns out this freshman hails from the land of fast elevators because even Cregger, the fastest one on campus, couldn\u2019t match up to the thrill of an elevator ride.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just feel like the elevators should move faster,\u201d Elevator Boy said. \u201cThey don\u2019t have to break the sound barrier, but they certainly shouldn\u2019t move like a 93-year-old man trying to get up from the chair for his 70<\/span>th<\/span> bathroom trip of the hour.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Reports say he has yet to wander into Life Science\u2019s elevator. Best advice for him is to go to Disney World . . . They have fast elevators.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a true act of comedy, one freshman came early to his Wednesday 8:30 class eager to start his academics. As he sipped on whatever he made this morning he soon realized that class had started. \u201cWe were all just sitting there and kind of gave each other a look.\u201d At that moment he was faced with a decision: should he crack a joke or inform the class that they\u2019re legally allowed to leave after 15 minutes if the professor doesn\u2019t show up? The Eager Beaver went with the former and called out \u201cBueller\u201d three times in a monotone voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t even know who this Bueller kid is, but my high school teacher did it once and he was pretty funny,\u201d he stated. A few class members chuckled, and Eager Beaver beamed with pride. \u201cThat\u2019s definitely the highlight of my freshman year so far,\u201d he recounted fondly. \u201cThe professor never showed up and we had a sub on the first day, so I guess that was disappointing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There were plenty of other things the students were disappointed by, but they were all relatable and don\u2019t make for funny comments.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Zach Dalton As the school year starts up Roanoke College welcomed in one of its largest freshman class with even larger expectations about things like class time, sports, professors, elevators and many more. After rigorous polling throughout Commons only two things can be confirmed: First, the freshmen class had high expectations for certain […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":4685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/elevator.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4585"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4585\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}