{"id":4466,"date":"2019-04-20T15:45:22","date_gmt":"2019-04-20T15:45:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.pages.roanoke.edu\/?p=4466"},"modified":"2019-04-20T15:45:22","modified_gmt":"2019-04-20T15:45:22","slug":"the-swipe-out-all-swiped-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/?p=4466","title":{"rendered":"The Swipe Out: All Swiped Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Shamira James<\/em><\/p>\n

Here we are, my very last column. I\u2019m not even gonna lie; I\u2019m holding back tears writing that because there\u2019s a complete stranger sitting across from me. I\u2019m sure if I told him why I was crying, though, he would get it. For crying out loud, every experience at Roanoke College I\u2019ve ever had – any class that I\u2019ve been late to, any reading I didn\u2019t do and any meal that I got too out of hand on the fries with – is coming to an end, and that\u2019s a hard pill to swallow. Four years is both not long enough but also just the right amount of time. I\u2019ve made memories in almost every corner of this campus, and whether it pops up as a memory on Snapchat a year from now, or I\u2019m walking home from work one night and something just reminds of it, I know I\u2019ll never, ever forget this place. So, in honor of the last time you\u2019ll read something I TOTALLY DIDN\u2019T write the night before BA layout while sitting in the Trexler computer lab, I\u2019m gonna spill the tea sis: <\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I sit in the back room because of all the eye candy back there – guys that play sports might suck, but I\u2019ll be DIDDLY darned if they aren\u2019t something good to look at. <\/span><\/li>\n
  2. If you\u2019ve ever walked past my table and wondered \u201cWere they talking about me?\u201d we probably were, but there\u2019s a 92% chance it wasn\u2019t something mean.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. I\u2019m sorry, but assigned seats are something that I don\u2019t think will change. It\u2019s a way to keep order amongst the chaos, but also don\u2019t act like some martyr just because you hate assigned seats. It\u2019s not that deep. <\/span><\/li>\n
  4. @ ALL SPORTS TEAMS: CLEAN OFF YOUR TABLES AND STOP BEING PIGS!<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. To any skinny little girl that has brushed past me without saying excuse me, you should know that the good Lord saved you from getting snatched up by your over-dyed hair – SAY EXCUSE ME! <\/span><\/li>\n
  6. There\u2019s a Commons worker that makes everyone feel uncomfortable and not to be this person, but I hope they don\u2019t have a job here next semester. \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Commons poops are a very real thing, and I\u2019ve been a victim of it my entire four years here. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Thank you Roanoke College and the Brackety-Ack for giving this city mouse a place in the South to call home. It\u2019s been an honor and a pleasure to be the most obnoxious aunty to everyone. Whatever stage you\u2019re at in your four-year journey, for the love of Rooney, make it beautiful, make it iconic and make it count. Ladies and gents, I\u2019m all swiped out. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Written by Shamira James Here we are, my very last column. I\u2019m not even gonna lie; I\u2019m holding back tears writing that because there\u2019s a complete stranger sitting across from me. I\u2019m sure if I told him why I was crying, though, he would get it. For crying out loud, every experience at Roanoke College…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3909,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture-wellness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4466"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4466\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3909"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brackety-ack.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}